Why does this have to be so controversial? Why do we continue to try to prove that one is better than the other? I think we all realize that both make sacrifices and each situation has pros and cons. Let's take a closer look and appreciate Moms for who they are (please forgive my generalizations).
Working Mothers
They wake up early, help to get everyone off to school and work, all while trying to prepare herself for work, aiming to get there on time. It is a busy morning of rushing around, but things settle down during the commute.
She arrives and gets started right away until her thoughts drift back to the family. "Did I remember to pack lunch for them? or give them lunch money? Did the kids wear sneakers to school for physical education? Today's not picture day, is it? Did the kids finish their homework and remember to put it in their backpack? What about the Book Club order - oh, I forgot the check! There's a field trip coming up, and I need to sign the permission slip and return it so they can go - oh, how I wish I could chaperone and join them! Do I spend enough quality time with them? What should we do this weekend? What am I going to make out of ground beef for dinner? Wish we didn't have the same 5 meals all the time, but I don't have time to cook." She shakes her head and tries to focus.
She works hard and is worn out by the end of the day - boss was scolding her to be more efficient, and even though she completed a project and felt great about it, the feeling was fleeting, since there is another 6 projects lined up that need to be done. The commute back home is a mixture of feelings - relived that the workday is over, excited to see her family, and dreading the afternoon witching hour.
Upon arriving home she tries to capture a glimpse into everyone day while nagging kids to clean up toys and do their homework, and she begins to prepare dinner.
After dinner there is more cleaning up to do, getting the kids into the shower, and starting the bedtime routine. Bedtime leads to quiet time, but now is the time she prepares for the following day - packing lunches and picking out clothes - then checks personal email, exercises, or works on a personal project she can only chip away at (or any combination of those activities) until she decides it's time to wind down. PJ's, sitting on the couch, a little snack while watching a show or reading for a while, falls asleep, gets up, brushes teeth, goes to bed.
Stay-at-Home Moms
Once again, waking up early, she get everyone prepared and off the school and work. With the little ones not yet school aged, she returns home from the bus stop only to finish cleaning up after breakfast. Time to "play" with the kids, which can be fun, but can also be painstakingly boring or slow - all the while she is thinking of the 100 projects she COULD be working on. Sometimes she can distract them with an activity so she can get something done around the house.
Lunchtime, clean up after lunch, then nap time - YES! With only an hour to herself, she spends it tackling a project or cleaning the house. Although it is not necessarily "relaxing", she is enjoying peace and quiet.
The kids wake up and she brings them outside where she can accomplish even less. Although being outside is a nice breath of fresh air (no pun intended), pushing someone on the swings for 20 minutes is not exactly the time of her life. With only kids under the age of 5 to talk to, it can get lonely - thank goodness for the occasional play date! Time to get the other kid(s) off the bus, so they walk down together and she has to entertain the little ones in a tiny space of wilted grass and sand on the corner of the road while waiting for the bus to arrive. Get everyone home, start homework, and start preparing dinner.
After dinner, she has a similar routine as the working mother, unless she has to work at night, which allows her even less quiet time and time to work on her own projects. The upside is additional income and a sense of accomplishment, which she rarely feels from raising children, even if it is the "most important job" she has.
As you can see, both mothers work as hard as they can - and everyone has their own reasons for choosing which route to travel. We need to be respectful and support each other - stop the competition!
No comments:
Post a Comment