Going to Church with Kids

I grew up in Catholic family.  We went to mass every weekend, but as we left church, my Dad would say (in French) "Our mass is done!".  In other words, cross it off the "to-do" list.  I suppose in some way, that sent mixed messages...did he WANT to be there, or was it something he felt we HAD to do?

As a teenager working 3 jobs, at some point I fell away from the church and struggled with the guilt of not going.  Later I decided something was "missing" and spoke to my then boyfriend (now-husband) about it.  There was a "Welcome Back" class at the local church and I wanted to attend, but was nervous about it, not knowing what to expect.  Despite his Catholic background being limited to weddings and funerals, he volunteered to accompany me for the 6-week program.

The class was informational, casual, and of non-pressure nature.  It was fun and we met some great people.  Immediately, we felt welcome and a sense of belonging.  We are still friends with several of those people now, and we started attending mass every weekend.  My husband (still boyfriend at the time) decided to go through the RCIA program to finish his sacrifices, and later we married in the church.

As time progressed we had children and happily brought them to church with us.  The first child was simple, especially as a baby.  When she got a little older, we brought books and a coloring book, and even a mini-magna-doodle to keep her occupied.  The challenge started when we had our second child, who never really could sit quietly (still can't today, unless the TV is on).  Yet we struggled through it and continued bringing them.

Nowadays, we have the 3 kids ages 1, 3, and 6 and we are REALLY struggling with the whole church thing.  We WANT to bring them and we think it would be good for all of us to go as a family.  The problem is, we leave church not knowing what the priest spoke about and in a place where we should be most happy and kind, we are having frustrated and angry thoughts as we try to wrangle the children.  We can't help but think...is it really worth going?  And if so, should we go as a family or break it up and have each adult go at separate times?

Most people we have spoken to have been in our situation and continue to encourage us to go - but we don't look forward to the struggle.  And while we are there, I can feel the stares on the back of my neck from other church-goers as we try to kids our kids quiet (maybe it's just my imagination?).  I like to sit closer to the front, thinking the kids may behave better and even pay attention if they can see what's happening.  My husband prefers to sit in the back so we don't disturb and distract as many people and make a quick getaway if we need to.

This past weekend I dropped my daughter off at CCD and went upstairs to mass alone - to represent the family.  I was so at peace and remembered why I liked going. In fact, I was at peace most of the day after that, too.

Would love your thoughts and feelings about this if you are willing to share.